Pal. That word is no longer allowed to be used by ANYONE at ANYTIME. Especially near me.

Haven't done this in a while.

Basically the purpose behind this post is to complain.

I'm sick and I have to go into work tonite because of my own stupidity. Luckily, Chris and Brittany are working, so it might not be half bad. But then again, I really don't want to see Brittany because I think she and Ben are fooling around again and it pisses me off. Which brings me to my next point: I hate Ben and that he doesn't give me attention. Sounds selfish, I realize, but I don't really give a shit. Grrrrrr.

Date:	2005-11-01 15:22
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	rejected
Music:	"Change the World" by Eric Clapton

I haven't updated in a long ass time.

I agree with Tracy, Saturday was fun.

Today:
(-) I was late to school because I took so long this morning.
(+) We watched a movie in English. I love when the women get smacked around in Puritan times.
(-) My clay project is taking forever to finish! I still haven't finished the first one... I need to stay after sometime to do that.
(+) I saw a really dorky picture of Audrey when she was in 9th grade. The yearbook was in Mrs. Elser's room, and she pointed it out to me. She is in love with Audrey.
(+) I totally wiped the floor with Jen during gym when we played PIG.
(+) French was bareable, for once.
(--) I listened to the messages I left on Ben's phone. Tracy asked me if what I said was true, and I think it is. I'm really confused. I gave Ben back the phone and he said, "Crazy, isn't it?" Meaning: That's totally nasty and let's just forget about it now. Then I saw Ben after school and it just made it worse.

Work tonight. The children will be coming in dressed up and probably receiving free food, so the place will be packed. Perhaps tonight's the night I finally quit.

Penis cock.

Date:	2005-10-30 22:13
Subject:	Pen
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	Do you do you want my....

Do this:

1. Tell me something obvious about you.
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with ...money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no ...shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?

I love Jenny Lee. --->>>>

And fur burgers.

Especially Jenny's fur burgers.

Date:	2005-09-26 17:10
Subject:	They call me Mellow Yellow. Not really. That's stupid.
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	Maroon 5 - Woman

It's been a while.

Things have been decent.

School's fine.

Ben's a retard. Last night he called me a slut, repeatedly. Today he tried to act like nothing was wrong. I didn't acknowledge him in the hallway or answer him when he asked how I was.

I got to see my gorgeous Amanda today!

Tracy was ill. Way to give others the go-ahead to sit in your spot at lunch. The table was certainly not thrilled.

Date:	2005-09-21 21:47
Subject:	You're just a toy I like to play with.
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	Cruel Intentions

Kevin already ruined the end of the movie for me.

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) Post this on your journal.

I am a man.

People need to stop their god awful complaining. I realize by saying that I am indeed complaining about their complaining, but their complaining is way less valid. Especially when their situation is perfect and they are complaining about what might possibly happen. What babies.

Date:	2005-08-31 20:19
Subject:	We were going to name you Breanda. Bodacious Brenda.
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	Csi: Las Vegas

First day of school:

(-) Cassie was NOT on my bus!
(-) My bus driver doesn't know how to drive! We were behind a biker who was off to the right side of the lane, and she follows behind him at 5mph, not bothering to drive around him. There weren't any cars on the other side of the street either.
(-) I don't sit near Charlie in homeroom, and my locker is about five lockers away from his.
(--) There was gum on the knob on my locker, so I couldn't open it.
(-) First period is English. I have no friends in English except for Jen, who is better friends with Jamie Alcorn. I considered sitting near Devon Berryann because she was alone and I was alone and from what I know she's nice, but it seemed weird considering I don't know her too well at all.
(-) I received an essay for English.
(+) I saw Chrissy and Maggie a lot in the hallways, but that was about it.
(++) I saw Mark minimal times, and I didn't see Ben once.
(+) Second and third period I have with Mo.
(--) Third period sucks. I thought clay was supposed to be fun.
(-) My new health teacher seems like a total bitch.
(+) Science seems cool. I have good people in my class and my teacher rocks.
(+) I stopped by Mr. Storace's room before science to have a chat with him.
(-) Jen and I felt like we were being watched in the bathroom because some of the ceiling tiles were missing.
(-) Lunch could have been better.
(+) My French teacher is insane. It was the first day and she was already taking pictures of us.
(-) I, along with two other people, am the oldest person in French I.
(-+) Tenth period was interesting. I don't sit near Meghan, but we are in talking distance. My teacher seems difficult but nice.

That's it.

I shouldn't have touched my bangs!

I got my haircut today... it was horrible. First off, my hair has no body because I'm trying to grow it out, so I just let her touch up a few areas. Next, I decided to get bangs, real bangs, not those side sweep bangs that I have had for so long, but real bangs. They look terrible. I think I am going to pin them over until they grow out a little more, or maybe I'll shave my head.

The only person I am going to make plans with from now on will be myself. I bet I won't even be able to hang out with me.

Date:	2005-08-27 21:58
Subject:	He's the 22nd century man.
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed
Music:	Phil of the Future

This sucks.

Every single one of my plans went down the drain today. Not to mention the fact that Brittany and Ben are hanging out tonight, doing God knows what. He also mentioned to Brittany, and I am not supposed to know, that he didn't want me to join because I would "bring out the worst in him" and he didn't want Brittany to see that. I wonder if he'll care if she sees his head on the floor.

The only thing that has kept me happy is the five consecutive Phil of the Future episodes and the fact that I've almost mastered the theme song.

I did it too:



Check me out!

It's not completely done.

Tracy, join my friends so I can be the first to comment in your myspace.

Well it made me forget about everything for one night...

I'm gonna miss Tiff.

Date:	2005-08-16 01:35
Subject:	Girl gimme that. Girl gimme that pussy.
Security:	Public
Mood:	full
Music:	Lizzie McGuire

Today I stopped over Meghan's on the way to food shopping to check up on her and she how she and her family were holding up. Things seemed well and in order. Meghan, her mother, my mother, and I ended up sitting around the dinner table, eating Erin's birthday cake, and talking about the situation, Italy, family, and such. We ended up talking until about 11pm. Then I had to go food shopping. At least no one was in the store. My mother and I split the list in half and went our separate ways. I saw Bill in the store with one of his friends. The first time we passed I said "hi", and the second time he made this strange crazy noise and face.

Penis.

We all have things about our friends that make us slightly
envious.

Not in a bad way, but in a 'Wow! I wish I had that person's
hair/eyes/money/relationship/toenails/whatever.' So tell me what about me
makes you envy me (if there is such a thing), then post this in your LJ and see what makes me envious of you.

Date:	2005-08-11 02:33
Subject:	Jewtopia: Just Jew It!
Security:	Public
Mood:	nerdy
Music:	U2!! ...And Coldplay!!

My NAPPY STACK is out of control. But it's okay because NPH loves fur burgers.

Hooha
Missy
Cupcake [Cuppy for short]
Snatch
Kitten
Cooter ...tweaked

P.S. Megan has jizz hair.

I love Cyborgs! And Cyborg Sex.

So the other night Brittany slept over. We were going to try and sneak out to go back to Stephen or Kevin's house, but once again, plans got ruined. Instead, we played Clue and Blurt with Audrey and talked about nappy stacks. We made Kevin pick the culprit for Clue, and every time he picked Miss Scarlet because he thought she was hot.

Today I had work. It was most enjoyable. Tim got suspended for a week for making fun of Matt's mother. Another guy I was talking with shared his tales of getting suspended for a week for "stealing" a piece of cheese. Chuck asked me if I had a boyfriend, and followed with more questions on the topic. I think he was wondering if I was available to bang. I sort of wish I was. He also saw Audrey drive through the drive-through and immediately knew she was my sister because he says we look exactly alike.

After I got home, Brittany Imed me asking if she could tell her mother she was over my house for the night so she could sneak out. She said she would have to call her mother from my house phone to let her know she had arrived at my house because her mother doesn't trust her and has caller-id. I allowed this sneaky-ness to go about, but I had to say something to my mother for when Brittany came over for a few moments. I had no time to make up something believable, so I simply told her the truth, thinking she was cool and would go along with it. She lashed out saying that that would make her responsible for Brittany and she did not like the idea one bit. I called Brittany back and decided to rendezvous at the basement door and I would give her the phone to call. This went as planned, and I called her cell later to make sure she wasn't dead yet. Because if she dies, it's riding on my ass.

Date:	2005-08-05 01:43
Subject:	I didn't sign up in this marriage to have a fat wife. -Oprah.
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	Fallout Boy

Tracy demands an update, so I shall do just that. Though this is more of a 'this is what's going on in my relationship with Ben and I need help because I can't decide if I should stay with him' complaint/need for advice.

Ben's great. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and never ceases to feed me compliments. He respects me and my wants and is a perfect gentleman. From the beginning I wasn't sure about the relationship, but decided I had nothing to lose and decided to stick with it and see what happens. A short while ago I felt as if I just wanted to be friends and asked for some time to sort things out. During that time we kept in touch and he couldn't have been more supportive. After talking with a friend, I realized that guys like Ben don't come around everyday and I should hold on to what I have. After we sorted things out I couldn't have been happier. The next two or three days were great. Unfortunately now I feel like I did previously. I would miss Ben if we broke up and never spoke again, but I would be completely content with becoming friends, nothing more. But we've talked about things in the near future and it would seem weird not to experience them with him. We talked about what would happen if we were to break up (during the few days I was unsure) and he said we could still be friends if that was what I wanted. If we were friends though, I know things wouldn't be the same, but I can't decide if that's a good or bad thing. I just find myself wanting to get off the phone with him one day, then enjoying the conversation the next. Sometimes I feel like I might be missing out on other opportunities, and other times I feel like I'm missing out when I'm not with him. I sort of feel like I'm in this half-hearted and that's not fair to Ben. The last thing I would want to do is hurt him because I care about him, but I'm not positive I love him. I have also never felt like this about other guys I have dated; I was always sure about past relationships.

Lemme know if you got anything.